Putting It Together - Part 5

Opening Prayer: 

Dear Lord, thank You for Your Word in the Bible. Help me take to heart the words you have given us.  There is always more to learn. Amen. 


Read: Judges 16:15-16 (NIV)

“15 Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven’t told me the secret of your great strength.” 16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was sick to death of it.



Which of us has been the nagging spouse, either actively or passively, to try to get our way? Which of us have had the nagging spouse, either actively or passively, who tried to get their way? In the cases I have seen, nagging has not strengthened the marriage.  It sometimes created bitterness, distance, and resentment between the two spouses.

That’s what’s happening between Samson and Delilah – who aren’t even married – in the verses above.  Delilah is nagging Samson to reveal what makes him so strong so that she can make him weak and turn him over to his enemies. Each time she asks, Samson gives her an answer which buys him more time but doesn’t give her the truth.  He seems to know she is manipulating him, but he seems to not want to leave her or address it out of his love for her.

Finally, she wears him down and he gives in to tell her the secret behind his strength; his long hair.  She cuts it and he is turned over to his enemies.  She selfishly used his love for her in a way to get what she wanted and ultimately for things which were not good for him.



The love you have for your spouse and the love that your spouse has for you should not be used for self-serving reasons or in ways to hurt the other. In what ways have you been actively or passively nagging your spouse to do something which may not be in their best interest? In what ways do you feel nagged by your spouse for something which is not in your best interest? Ask your spouse to answer these same questions and discuss the answers.


Closing Prayer: 

Dear Lord, You are pure in your desires for our relationship with You and with each other. I thank you for giving me stories in the Bible that show us what not to do and areas which guide us in what to do.  Help me to search out my heart and change things I am doing to manipulate my closest relationships for my own good.  Amen.

Terry Schneider