Different Love Languages
Lord, you created man and woman with unique giftings, different needs and diverse perspectives. Please allow your Holy Spirit to reveal us how to best understand and encourage each other to have stronger, more vibrant marriages.
Read: Colossians 3:12-14, NIV
“(12) Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (13) Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (14) And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs wrote a popular book on marriage called “Love & Respect.” If you have never read it, I would highly recommend it! It will open up greater understanding for you as a couple and lead to a more fulfilling marriage. In this book, Dr. Eggerichs frequently mentions that men speak with a “blue” hose and listen with “blue” ears, while woman speak with a “pink” hose and listen with “pink” ears. This sounds quite humorous on the surface, but at its root, the point being made is that men and woman don’t communicate the same. While this may not be surprising to most of us, he is encouraging those of us in marriage to embrace these difference when considering our communications with each other.
In the scripture verses for today, we are encouraged to “clothe ourselves” with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. No place are these virtues more important than in our marriages. How often does a husband long for intimacy with his wife, while missing her cues for her need to be hugged in a non-sexual way? What about the conversations between husband and wife where the husband has the solution ready for her to “fix her issue” only to understand later, she wasn’t looking for an answer at all, but for a good listener? For marriage to thrive…not just survive, we need to meditate on the virtues instructed by Paul in his letter to the Colossians. Paul even draws extra attention to two critical ones: “bearing with one another and forgiving one another.” Because we are human, we are bound to fail. But how we respond to each other’s failures and shortcomings will decide whether we will “put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
In this day of busy schedules and demands on our time, we have a tendency to put our spouses “last” in priority. After all, we both want to do more for the Kingdom of God right? Well, the bible teaches us first to ensure our own house is strong before we can truly help others. Yes, there will be times of sacrifice for ministry opportunities, but the overall message your spouse should see in your calendar and in your ‘to do list’ is that they come first, after the Lord. Set weekly times aside for dates. Schedule weekend getaways together with just the two of you, as well as with the whole family. Husbands, rededicate yourselves to loving your wives. Wives, grow in respect for your husbands. In this way you will grow in communicating and connecting with your spouse like never before!
Lord, teach me to honor my spouse by walking in unending measures of love, patience and kindness. You are the ultimate example of love for us…through your sacrifice on the cross. Teach me to show love on a daily basis, which binds these relationships in perfect unity.